Realizing The Sad Truth

As I sat on the floor in Maddy's room this afternoon, I came to a sad realization. I sat and folded and put into a storage box all of her newborn-6 month clothes. Oh how quickly these 6 months have gone. Sure, the days seem very long but the weeks and months are flying by. In my hand I held the jacket she wore when she came home from the NICU. It's hard to imagine that, in that little jacket, I brought home a 5 lb baby girl.

It was at that moment that I realized that I may not have anymore children. I have always wanted a big family. Lots of children to chase around the house. But the truth is, I don't think I can do it again. I loved being pregnant. I had a great pregnancy. Yes, there was the horrible morning sickness that plagued me for months, as well as Gestational Diabetes, high blood pressure, and swelling. But it was a great experience. I had a great doctor and great medical and support team for months. It's just that I don't think I can handle what happens afterwards. The fatigue, the feeling of being overwhelmed, the depression.

Maybe after Adam finishes school, and I am able to stay at home, I'll change my mind. Maybe then. I don't know. But for now, I will not sweat the small things. I will hold on to my girls and enjoy them while they are young.

White & Nerdy

I love this video. I dedicate it to Adam, JJ, Ryan, and Stephen. No, not Stephen. Well....yea, Stephen too.

Now, I wait

Today I had my cervical biopsy done. I knew it was going to hurt when my MALE doctor told me, "All you'll feel is a little sting and burn. It won't hurt, though." Umm...how do you know!!?!?!? You're a MAN.

Anyways, I would get the results by Friday, but it'll probably be early next week because of the holiday.

*Hums Jeopardy tune*

Maddy Is 6 Months Today!

Maddy turned 6 months today. She can almost sit unassisted. If someone/thing makes her laugh, she'll fall forward. She rolls both ways, has learned to scream at the top of her lungs for attention, can drink from a sippy cup, loves to eat solid foods, and continues to wow us everyday.

Today at her well month visit, she weighed in at 19lbs 13oz and 27 3/4 inches long. She's in the 97th percentile for weight and height. She received 3 shots and her flu shot. Naturally, she screamed at the top of her lungs and cried. But I think the Blue's Clues bandaids made everything better

Now I Have Some Answers

I have been so sick. I've been going back and forth to the doctor for the last 3 weeks because of stomach pain. My doctor thought it was my galbladder and i had a ton of tests done and they were all negative. He set me up with a gastro doctor for 11/27, but I had to leave school yesterday morning because I was doubled over in pain. I went to the doctor and I had an upper GI test done. It was horrible. I had to drink this radioactive drink and they took xrays of my stomach. It tasted horrible. I returned to the doctor today and the results are that, yes, I have an ulcer. So I have to see the stomach doctor on 11/27 and set up an appt for a stomach biopsy to check to see if it's cancerous. He said it's very uncommon to have a stomach ulcer without family history and being so young. I am so terrified.

I am on a strict diet of non-fat, non greasy, non spicy, just plain BLAND foods. I cannot have any meat, and I cannot have anything citrus. So while my family eats Stuffed Manicotti tonight, I will eat potato soup.

I have that going on, and then I have to have a cervical biopsy done next Tuesday the 21st because I had 2 abnormal paps.

I need a vacation.

Happy Veteran's Day!

This morning, we went to the Chattanooga National Cemetary to visit Mr. Lee. The cemetary was decorated nicely with flags along the drive. There were a lot of people there visiting loved ones.

It was a cold, windy, grey day. Very solemn and very sad for for all of us.

We salute and remember you and all of the brave men and women who have served and are serving our country and defending our freedom. Thank you.

We miss you Gee.

Everyone Loves A Parade

Mr. & Mrs. Clause arrived at the Hamilton Place Mall tonight, officially beginning the Christmas season in Chattanooga. There was a huge parade at the mall. The Hamilton Place Mall is the biggest in Tennesse, so when I say huge, I mean, HUGE!

First there was the Chattanooga SWAT Team and the Rock City float:



There were many floats to follow:




But my favorite was the EB Packers Cheerleaders!




It was a great night! Lindsay had a lot of fun!

Did I give birth to a baby?

Or a cat?

Maddy is in the licking phase. She licks her fingers, her toys, her bottle, my neck, and daddy's arms. Our pediatritian gave us the green light to begin 2oz of juice once a day. So, we put it in a sippy cup. She didn't know what to do with it, so she licked it.

She'll get the hang of it, but it was quite funny!

Feelings

Have you ever felt alone? I mean, have you ever felt like you were in a crowded room with people and was still alone? Have you ever felt like there isn't a person in the world who understands you and no one you can talk to, and all you can do is hide underneath the covers and cry?

Today, that's how I feel.

I Scream, You Scream....Then You Scream Again

Maddy has learned something new. She has learned to scream. It's not just a scream. It's a loud, window shattering, piercing scream! She was sitting in her high chair while I got her lunch ready and she started to scream. I ran over to her, thinking the worst, and she started laughing.

I guess she has learned there's a voice inside her little body and knows she can use it. I must admit, she looks funny doing it.

Election Update!

This is a public service announcement for my fellow bloggers concerning the elections next week. I want to encourage you to vote because every vote counts. I also wanted to put out this post to remind you in an objective nonpartisan way, that you matter to this process.
So next week make sure you get out and vote.

The voting schedule is as follows:

Republicans vote: Tuesday, November 7, 2006.

Democrats vote: Wednesday, November 8, 2006

War Of The Ads!

Bob Corker VS. Harold Ford, Jr.

With only 4 days left til mid-term elections, the race is getting ugly. Well, here in Tennessee, it is. Here is what I know about the 2 men running for the Senate:


Bob Corker (R): Former Mayor of Chattanooga. Let 31, 000 911 calls go unanswered. Illegals were found at his worksite. Daughter Julia was caught makingout with another girl. Has 6 SUV's. Lives in a mansion. Self-made millionaire.

Harold Ford, Jr. (D): US Congressman. Accepted $$ from porn film producers. Attends parties at the Playboy Mansion. Attended school in Pennsylvania. Has a corupt family. Grew up in Washington, DC. Says he's a lawyer, yet has never passed the Bar Exam.

I don't know what these men are running for. I have not heard ANYTHING on their plans for the Senate, nor for what they plan on doing to make Tennessee better.

I do know one thing. After Tuesday, no more campaign ads! Phew!

My Marriage Isn't Perfect...Yet It Is

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, with your mind racing? That was me at 3:30 AM. As I laid there in bed, I pondered on my life as a wife.

I am far from a perfect wife. I'm sure my husband agrees. Our marriage is far from perfect. We argue. Heck, we have mastered the art of arguing. At times, I say things that I don't mean, and mean things I don't say. Coming from two different walks of life, we have differences. My husband does things differently than the way I do. For example, the dishes, laundry, making the bed...only to name a few. He coming from a traditional home and raised in the South, sees things in a whole different light than the way I, the girl from the Big City, does.

But our marriage is also perfect. Perfect in sense that we both strive and try to do what's best for our family. We want only the best for our daughters. We spend time together. Sometimes with our children, and sometimes without. We've shared some great times, and a lot of laughs, and have been there for each other when things have gotten rough. He protect me, and I protect him. Yes, we do argue. Who doesn't? Like I said, we come from 2 different walks of life. But that's what makes us who we are. I am happy. He's happy. We are happy...together.

We are crazy in love. A love genuine love and respect for one another. I think that's what holds this family together. Knowing that, no matter what, I have him, and he has me.

Marriage is hard work. Harder than I thought. But you know what? What in life isn't?

So there you go. My marriage isn't perfect, but then again, it is.